Caring for Aging Parents: A Guide for Families

If you’ve made the decision to care for your aging parents, you may already have some idea of what lies ahead. However, there’s often more to consider than initially meets the eye. Caring for elderly parents involves addressing physical, emotional, and financial aspects that require careful planning.

At Vermont Aged Care, our experience with residents and their families has given us valuable insights into these areas. Here are some tips to help guide you through this journey.

Understanding What the Changes Mean to Them

Begin by recognising what this transition may mean for your parents. They may be facing the loss of independence, privacy, and familiar routines. If they are moving into your home, they may also lose connections to neighbors, local shops, and cherished daily habits.

Asking for and accepting help can be difficult, especially for older adults. This change might feel like a loss of dignity, and adjusting to a new living situation may feel irreversible. Downsizing and parting with belongings can also be emotionally painful. Watch for signs of distress or depression, as these feelings are common but should not go unaddressed.

What They Need from You

Your parents will need patience, compassion, and tact. These qualities can make difficult conversations easier. If they seem resistant, avoid assumptions - ask how they’re feeling and make sure they know this move is intended to support them, not take away their autonomy. Reassure them frequently, keep things positive, and emphasize that this is a step forward.

Creating a Family Plan

Planning is crucial, and it’s essential to ensure all family members are on the same page. If you have siblings, work together to develop a plan and resolve any differences privately before involving your parents. A united front can reassure them and reinforce family support. Drafting a practical, not overly emotional, plan can help keep everyone focused on the essentials.

Addressing Physical Needs

Consider your parents’ physical needs, which may vary based on their health and whether they’re living alone or as a couple. If they’re healthy and self-sufficient, your role may be simpler. If they require assistance with tasks like toileting, consider the possibility of enlisting additional help from a healthcare assistant.

Evaluate your home’s suitability, such as accessibility and available space. Meals on Wheels or other support services may be beneficial, as well as extra help for laundry, doctor visits, and shopping. As the saying goes, “many hands make light work”—involve family members where possible.

Resource: Right at Home - For Carers

Financial Planning

Discuss finances with your parents to understand their financial situation without taking over. Basics, such as having a Will, Living Will, and essential contacts for banks and advisors, are important. They may wish to appoint you as their Power of Attorney in case of emergencies.

Resource: Aging Care - Financial Matters

Conclusion

The key to a smooth transition is clear communication and family unity. With practical planning, love, and support, caring for aging parents can bring meaningful family moments. And don’t underestimate the value of sharing tea, coffee, and cake to lift everyone’s spirits!